It’s ok to feel what you feel. You don’t have to act a certain way all the time. At times I can be bubbly, energetic and completely up for a laugh. Other times I want to be alone, I don’t feel the urge to be loud and fun; sometimes I need to be reserved and reflective. AND THAT’S OK.
I always found it hard to understand that I would sometimes be the life of the party and at other times the one on the outside looking in. I didn’t want to be expected to act a certain way. So I didn’t really act. Holding emotions in stopped me from just living and being me. It is human to not feel the same all the time. No one should expect anything from you, and if they do they aren’t worth worrying about.
To some people this may sound stupidly obvious. But for me, I lived by this fear of being real for years, and I still sometimes feel trapped by the thought of having to be and feel a certain way if others around me are.
I thought I’d share this in case anyone stumbling across this has felt the same way and needs reassurance that they aren’t the only one feeling this way. It has got better for me. There are more times that I feel comfortable in myself. I still experience times where I’m scared to act in a way that’s true to myself at that moment. But I guess that’s life. I’m hoping that writing some of my thoughts can help me understand my feelings a bit more and help me to be more confident and comfortable with who I am. Well, it’s at least worth a try.