Scratching the Surface

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the masks we all wear daily.  Asking myself who have I really seen and who has really seen me?  How can I let people see what’s beneath the surface, what’s underground.

These masks we wear can be both a deception, but also protection.  I don’t wear a mask to be fake, I wear it when I’m not comfortable.

The people I’m most drawn to are those that don’t wear a mask.  They don’t care if they offend you or worry about anyone else’s opinions.  Yes they’re more likely to rub people up the wrong way.  But they also have the most respect from people.  Most of all the people that do like them really like them, not their facade which they present to society, their true self.

Often my mask is a subconscious shield protecting me from psychological harm.  Recently however I have found the need to wear a mask to protect myself physically as well.

Moving to London there is a lot more people around and it’s weird for someone who is used to smiling at strangers in the park to suddenly avoiding everyone and only focussing on the path ahead.  I’m a fairly open person who likes watching people.  I find it fascinating looking at people and wondering what their lives are like.  Here I can’t do that-not whilst walking in the street anyway.  Apparently any sign of friendliness (and by this I mean not being glued to my phone screen) can be an invitation for untoward comments.  Not all necessarily derogatory in their wording, however being shouted at from a car, even when being complemented on choice of shoes isn’t exactly comforting.

I’m getting used to dealing with different kinds of people, or more accurately avoiding different people.  I think it’s a shame that strangers are automatically placed into a category of potentially dangerous, but that’s where I live, better safe than sorry as they say.  I can’t help but feel sadness when blocking out so many people.  The more you get used to this way of living the harder it must be to welcome people into your life.

For now I must accept the fact that I can’t people watch on my way to Uni.  I’ll have to save that for the Scratching the Surfacetube where I can’t help but be interested in the many different kinds people I encounter, but at least here I haven’t had the problem of inviting any unwanted comments.  And don’t worry I may people watch but I don’t stare strangely at other passengers, if I were I might expect a few comments.

Until next time,

Laura Joan xx

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